From awareness, to choice, to change

Our beliefs and attitudes, thoughts and feeling, choices and decisions that we hold create the emotional pictures that drives and shapes us. By becoming aware of these we can keep those that work for us or change and release those that don’t. When changing anything and releasing it we need to replace it with something else; nature hates a vacuum. So when you release an emotional picture you need to replace it with a new emotional picture that works for you.


Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools.
Communication trainer, Motivational speaker, Self-esteem trainer

Be patient and kind to yourself

We have held the old pictures for years it may take a little bit of practice and time to change them. It may feel a little like you are just pretending at first, but you are beginning to change the feeling engine that drives you. Use your memories and imagination, remembering times when you have succeeded and felt good about yourself. Apply these feelings in other areas of your life. This is not a substitute for doing the work, learning new information but it will allow you to learn easier and recall it more efficiently. 

Richard Riche is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

Changing the past

Our past is ultimately a collection of emotional pictures we hold. Our perspective of things changes based on the meaning and emotional weight we give these events. If you can change the meaning of an event you can change the emotional picture. 


When your mother shouted at you it might not have been because you were a useless child but because she’d had a bad day. Holding an emotional picture of yourself as defective means you take everything that happens as your fault. It is not just a case of looking differently at the same world but experiencing it differently and being different. Remember - your brain and body respond directly to the emotional pictures you hold. If you hold the emotional picture of yourself as confident and happy you will begin to experience this. The key is honesty - not wishful thinking. Take it day by day. 

Richard is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

non-verbal communication

Imagine the difference in non-verbal communication (remembering that more than 70% of communication is non verbal) of two sales people who enter the same office to sell the same item. The first has an honest positive self-image and believes in their product, the second has a secret negative or poor self-image and doesn’t think anybody would buy something from them anyway. Which do you think would make a sale; assuming that the product is the same and even the sales pitch is the same?

What is your honest self-image?

Richard is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

Emotional Goal collage

Can you remember times when you were happy, confident and successful?

These times can be used to create a collage of positive images that will change your chemistry and body response when you remember them with dynamism. Dynamic visualisation involves using as many senses as possible. How did you feel, what sounds were there, what was the temperature, the light etc? Imagine you were actually there experiencing that success again. Use sensory memory to add depth and realness to the emotional Goal.

Richard is a Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

Your brain thinks in pictures

Your body and brain make no distinction between what you remember, what you imagine or what is actually happening. As you imagine the person being all these negative things your body begins to physically and chemically react to the situation as if it were actually happening. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more potent the emotional attachment/weight you link to the picture the stronger the physical and chemical reaction. The harder you try not thinking of these disastrous ideas and images the stronger they become. Trying not to think of that Red Ball only makes the image stronger. Instead focus on what you want – focus on thinking of a Green Ball.

Richard Riche is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

Outside validation

Outside validation is a diminishing return. The warm glow does not last.
At first it is great to have someone validate you, "WOW, you're great." but if there is no real self-esteem (honest knowledge, feeling and nurturing of yourself) then the outside validation will end up making you feel worse. It will also take more outside validation, more often, to give you the same initial warm glow.


It is important to develop a real foundation of self-esteem. When you have this the outside validation matches the inner knowing and is easier to accept.




Richard Riche is a Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

Righteous anger

Righteous anger is when you vent your frustration and anger to everyone and anyone BUT the person who can do something about it.


For example ... If you are annoyed with service at a restaurant .. who do you complain to? Your friends, 
family, the parking guard? If you are complaining to anyone but the waiter, manager or someone at the 
restaurant who can do something then you are using your anger to use it to manipulate people or make 
yourself feel powerful. This is a cheap trick which ends badly. Learn to express yourself appropriately and in a healthy way that does not sabotage your relationships.

processing - healthy expression
Richard Riche is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

clear communication

Try use sentences where the tone, picture created by the words and words all align with one clear meaning.

DON’T think of a RED BALL.

It is almost impossible command as you see the RED BALL as soon as it is mentioned.

Think of a GREEN BALL.

This is far easier and produces a clear message of what you want.

Richard Riche is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

world view

Different ways of viewing the world make a big difference. If you see yourself one way you view the world in a corresponding manner. There is an old saying, “If you see yourself as a hammer, you’ll see the world as nails.”  Based on your views (emotional pictures) of yourself and the world you will act and react accordingly.

Richard Riche is a Self-Esteem trainer and Motivational speaker
http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za

Thoughts and feelings

Ensure the label matches the content

Are your thoughts and emotions on the same page? Are they in alignment?

What we feel and what we think should be in alignment. If they are saying different things it will cause stress and anxiety. The emotional content drives us. What we honestly believe we are worth and how we honestly feel. If we think or like to think we are ok but emotionally are a mess it is the mess that leaks through and is portrayed in our actions and interactions. Processing helps clear out the junk and enables us to direct us towards emotional substance that works for us.

Richard Riche is a Self-Esteem trainer and Motivational speaker
http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za

Crab-in-the-bucket syndrome

Support is an amazing thing when you have it but similarly lack of support or people who are bent on keeping you where you are can cripple you. It is called the Crab in the Bucket syndrome. If you were to go with a bucket to the beach to catch crabs you will need a lid for the first two you catch, as they will try climbing out. Once you catch your third one, however, you will not need a lid at all. Strange as it may seem once there are three or more the others will try pull it back if one tries to climb out. This dynamic can be seen in our relationships quite clearly. Some relationships are very supportive of our desire to change while others would rather we stay as we are rather than shake things up. The fear of those holding you back is often that if you can change then so could they. 

Richard Riche is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer
For more information about building a Dynamic foundation of Self-Esteem please go to http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za/ 

Change

We can’t just break habits; we need to replace them with new behaviour patterns.

Focus on what you want in its place rather than what you don’t. Recognise you are the only one who can change the behaviour. Changing is something that happens now - in the moment - and the effects are noticed after time. It always begins with a choice in the moment. Nobody can change you. You can only change yourself. Others can inspire you to change but can’t make the choice for you. Of course they could manipulate or threaten you to make you change but even then the choice to capitulate is still yours.

Richard Riche is a Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer
http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za

Clear communication

We need to develop the ability to communicate efficiently with those we interact with regarding our thoughts and feelings. Good communication saves a lot of energy and time and makes things run smoother. You will need to pay attention to your audience and whether they are getting what you are communicating.

Communication of ideas or emotions is far more than just the words you use. Non-verbal communication is just as important. Body language, eye contact, tone and delivery have substantial impact on the recipient of the message.


Richard Riche is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

Your view of the world

Different ways of viewing the world make a big difference. If you honestly see yourself one way you view the world in a corresponding manner. There is an old saying, “If you see yourself as a hammer, you’ll see the world as nails.”  Based on your views (emotional pictures) of yourself and the world you will act and react accordingly.

Richard Riche is a Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer
http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za/self-esteem.aspx

Creating better self-esteem 6

Surround yourself with more positive supportive people who will accept and encourage you rather than negative people who prefer you to stay as you are or fail. Remember the negative influence of the crab in the bucket syndrome. crab-in-the-bucket


Richard Riche  is a Self-Esteem trainer and Motivational speaker
http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za

creating better self-esteem 5

Look for the beauty in life. Become aware of the amazing potential and spirit of people. Think of some of the choices people make that inspire and amaze us. Human beings have an amazing ability to love and give without selfish agendas.  Think how people have selflessly given of themselves in times of dire need. Natural disasters such as earthquakes and hurricanes as during times of war tragic and destructive as they are can spur people to release a more humane and caring side. Be aware people are not just selfish and cruel but we have the potential to be amazing as well. Be aware that these people also gain a great deal through their “selfless” actions. Own the amazing feelings you get when you act in a loving and generous way toward others. Our positive expectation of the beauty and spirit of others encourages this type of behaviour.

Richard Riche  is a Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za/self-esteem.aspx

Creating better self esteem 4

Create new positive Emotional Pictures. Imagine how you would feel if these statements were already true: - “I am unique and valuable person”, “I am enough” or “I like and appreciate who I am”. Remember to feel the emotions that fit the words and picture. Act emotionally as if you have already achieved the result you desire. It is not about convincing others but about honestly feeling it for you. At regular intervals read your gratitude/ self-awareness journal and remind yourself of your value and the positive aspects of your life.

by Richard Riche Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

For more information about building a Dynamic foundation of Self-Esteem please go to 

http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za/

Creating better self esteem 3

Accept praise and compliments. A simple thank you is a good choice rather than discounting it or saying it was nothing. The higher your self-esteem the easier it is to honestly accept a compliment or praise. This is because you can appreciate what they see and are complimenting you on.

by Richard Riche Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

For more information about building a Dynamic foundation of Self-Esteem please go to  

http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za

Creating better self esteem 2

Be aware of the words and emotional pictures you hold and ideas you repeat about yourself. Depreciating yourself and putting yourself down only ads to the weight of your negative emotional pictures and ends up working against you. The self-depreciation becomes the pictures your body and brain react to physically and chemically on a day-to-day basis. They are the same pictures other people react to.

by Richard Riche Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

For more information about building a Dynamic foundation of Self-Esteem please go to 

www.oneclearmessage.com

Creating better self esteem 1

Be kind to yourself. Appreciate that no matter how wonderful or horrible you see yourself there is always someone better or worse than you. So don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are a unique individual with positive and negative points. Strive to augment your positive points and reduce those parts of yourself that do not enrich your life. Strive to create images and goals that work for you rather than against you.
Richard Riche is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

parents teaching self-esteem

Regarding self-esteem, it is a parent’s job to help build the self-esteem in their children. They do this through their actions and how they treat/value themselves as well as through the information they share with them trough the words they use. The emotional pictures parents hold are the blue print children copy as well as the actions they take. If a parent has low self-esteem this is communicated to their children and they learn this as acceptable behaviour.

In fact if a parent teaches a child to honestly love, value and appreciate themselves they have succeeded as a parent, whether the child likes them or not. However, if a parent does not teach decent self-esteem through their help and actions if the child loves them they have failed as a parent. Children automatically love their parents; they may however not like them as they grow up. Our job as parents is not a popularity contest getting them to like us or love us but to help them build a good basis of self-worth and self-esteem.

by Richard Riche Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za/schools.aspx