One Clear Message -The Communication Specialist (www . one clear message . com)

Lucky in sales or business

2010-07-15T10:56:00.001+02:00

Do you want to be lucky in your business or in sales??

Professor Richard Wiseman in his book “The Luck Factor: The Scientific Study of the Lucky Mind” (2003). talks about four principles to help increase your good fortune:

Principle One: Maximise Chance Opportunities. Lucky people are skilled at creating, noticing and acting upon chance opportunities. They do this through networking, choosing a relaxed attitude to life and by being open to new experiences.They get out of the house, off the couch and tend to be more sociable. Meet new clients, be a good person. Be likeable.

Principle Two: Listening to Hunches. Lucky people make better decisions by listening to their intuition and gut feelings. they also tend to take steps to actively boost their intuitive abilities through meditating and clearing their mind of other thoughts. Listen to your gut.

Principle Three: Expect Good Fortune Lucky people expect the future to be full of good things. These expectations become self-fulfilling prophecies, they help these people persist in the face of failure shaping their interactions with others in a positive way. Create positive expectation through creating value in product and service, through preparation.

Principle Four: Turn Bad Luck to Good Luck. The people who employ various psychological techniques to cope with, and find the silver lining of the ill fortune that comes their way have substantially more luck – they. For example, they spontaneously imagine how things could have been worse, do not dwell on the ill fortune, and take control of see opportunities everywhere. Have the right attitude.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He specialises in Presentation Skills, Communication training, Motivational speaking and self-esteem training

Keep it simple Presentation skills

2010-07-14T12:32:00.002+02:00

Keep your presentations simple ...
Don't read your presentation ... Let the slides augment your message ...

Creating the right attitude is essential

Buckets, gardens and other stories

View more presentations from Richard Riche.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He specialises in Presentation Skills, Communication training, Motivational speaking and self-esteem training

Real Self Esteem comes from You

2010-06-07T10:02:00.004+02:00

Self Esteem is how we honestly feel about ourselves. How we treat ourselves and others.

There is a reason it is called Self Esteem, rather than other esteem.

It really is the love, caring and nurturing from us to ourselves. This then expresses itself in how we treat others.

It does not matter how other see us ... it matters how we honestly feel about ourselves ...
We can become more aware of our Self Esteem by paying attention to how we allow others to treat us ...

For more go to http://www.oneclearmessage.com for a more in-depth look at self esteem.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He specialises in Presentation Skills, Communication training, Motivational speaking and self-esteem training

Law of giving

2010-05-06T07:37:00.001+02:00

We've heard that it is better to give than receive. This is an over simplification. It is also about giving the other the space to give too. When we give in a relationship, whether business or personal, we invest more and our level of connection and attraction increases. On of the easiest examples of this is in the parent child relationship. The more the parent gives, the more invested they are in the relationship. The parent gives more in the relationship, time, energy, effort. The child receives more and, is thus, less invested.

In a business relationships the one who gives more, becomes invested more. The one who receives more, and gives less, is less invested. In order to create deeper connection and investment in the relationship it is essential to also allow the other to give to you. If you do everything for them you will be invested and they will be far less invested. If you, however, give them the space and time to give to you, you will allow them to invest more in your relationship. Allow them to give to you, time, energy, do you small favours. This creates a balance rather than a servant / master relationship.

Why would you invest in a relationship where you are not valued? Allow them the value of being able to contribute. Whether as a partner, parent or friend. It allows them to feel and own their strength.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He specialises in Presentation Skills, Communication training, Motivational speaking and Self-esteem training

Intimacy and confidence

2010-04-14T08:51:00.003+02:00

If you like, value and appreciate yourself you will allow someone you respect to get close to you and really see who you are – the real and wonderful intimacy of someone we respect seeing who we are in quiet tender moments.

Confidence is directly connected to your level of self-esteem and personal intimacy.

If, however, you do not really like, value and appreciate yourself, ie have poor self-esteem, you will not allow someone you respect that closeness and intimacy. Instead you will more likely to associate with or play the “bad” boy or girl. People you may have a poor opinion of or disrespect. By doing so you do not feel as exposed as it does not matter if they honestly see you (the way you see yourself) as you have already determined (on an emotional level) they are not worthy of respect. Their opinion may hurt but will not be as devastating as someone you value and respect getting close and seeing “You” as you yourself honestly believe you are – as flawed.

Your self-esteem is your emotional perception of your value. It is a perspective you operate out of, it is not, however, the truth.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He specialises in Presentation Skills, Communication training, Motivational speaking and self-esteem training

The Zen of "Quiet Excitement" in the workplace

2010-03-24T07:35:00.000+02:00

When you get to work, before you see your first client, you have a choice... If it is a "mission" and you're not smiling, make another choice!

Search each day for that "Quiet Excitement" of fulfilment and achievement - then approach that client/ co-worker...

It is amazing how people shine when we acknowledge their positives and appreciate who they are, when we adjust our attitude first.... Strive to be the one who smiles first, reaches out a hand first.

Just remember to turn it around... How do you feel when constantly criticised? vs when you are acknowledged for what you do and who you are and people who smile and reach out to you first?

That sense of "Quiet Excitement" is the feeling that all is right in the world and a sense of a positive action and future achieved ... now!

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He specialises in Presentation Skills, Communication training, Motivational speaking and Self-esteem training

Poor visualisation

2010-03-15T07:00:00.000+02:00

An amateur golfer. as an example, will often use poor visualisation in attempting to reach their goals.
As they address the ball they hope, and pray, the ball does not slice - imagining clearly, with a lot of emotion, the ball doing exactly what they don't want it to do! (they end up swearing as the ball faithfully follows the visualised path) :-D

The pro, on the other hand, visualises clearly the end result the desire, the ball in the hole, and allows the body to take the required action to create this. They air punch as the ball drops in the hole to complete the visualisation process.
To understand this process more fully watch my Clear visualisation clip.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He specialises in Presentation Skills, Communication training, Motivational speaking and Self-esteem training

lose your BUT!

2010-03-03T09:51:00.003+02:00

The but we most need to lose is the one that follows opportunity and challenges...
Can you do it ....? Will you do it...? Yes ... BUT!
The economy ... I didn't learn how ... or a list of other excuses that argue for your limitations.

Let go of the BUTs that stop you from achieving your potential...
Be clear on what you want, what you can do and use dynamic visualisation to achieve far more than you thought you could until now ...

Watch Successful Visualisation to learn more about using dynamic visualisation.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He specialises in Presentation Skills, Communication training, Motivational speaking and self-esteem training

Don't ... don't, Do ... Do!

2010-02-22T10:04:00.001+02:00

Your brain does not understand the words don't, shouldn't, mustn't ....

Don't think of a red ball creates the same picture in your mind as Do think of a red ball.

Be clear in your communication and describe clearly what you want or desire...

I am becoming a success - each day I learn, grow and become more confident.
(far more powerful and effective than the negative I don't want to fail, mess up etc)

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He specialises in Presentation Skills, Communication training, Motivational speaking and Self-esteem training

Understand first

2010-02-04T08:44:00.000+02:00

Learn to develop the skill of understanding others first, rather than attempting to gain understanding from others first.

We all desire to be understood. Yearn to have another person "get" us, understand who we are and what we need.

In our business and personal lives it is essential to be the one to take the first step. If you will show real interest in your clients, attempt to understand them and their needs first, they will appreciate the effort and will, in time, try understand you.

We often hold out for others to understand us when the trick is to understand others first.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

Communication Presentation tips for power point

2010-02-02T11:46:00.001+02:00

So where should you stand when doing a power point presentation?

From the audience's point of view stand to the left of the screen, far enough back that the audience can see the screen clearly.

Why?
We read from left to right.
Our eyes reset to the left to begin reading the next line.
If you stand to the left you are where the eyes automatically look, if you are on the right, the audience is looking away from you to read the slides.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

Emotional goal setting - the journey

2010-01-25T09:50:00.000+02:00

Emotional goals are why you want the tangible goal.
A tangible goal is the Mercedes you want, in black with leather interior and a bose sound system.
The emotional goal is why you want it. To feel successful, confident or something similar.
If your goal, as an example, is to be the CEO of a large company the emotional goal would relate to how you feel, the journey, how you get there.

Is it a rush, chaotic and manipulative or a fun, exciting, rich journey that enriches your life?

What is the quality of your journey? The emotional goal relates directly to the quality of your journey and life.

Make a choice now. Take the opportunity to choose a new motivation, a new quality in your business!
It starts with you, now!

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

Humility

2010-01-22T14:53:00.000+02:00

Humility in a business relationship is essential.

Humility is the ability and willingness to see each moment as new.

To be willing to be open to new success and behaviour not just looking at past behaviour. No matter how lousy (or great) things have gone in the past, this time it can be better. It is up to us to be responsible for the interaction, specifically our actions and reactions.

Do you work on and develop the qualities and skills that you offer in a business or other relationship.
Make a choice now. Take the opportunity to choose a new you, a new quality in your business!
It starts with you, now!

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

Choose now! Act now!

2010-01-14T17:04:00.000+02:00

There are no quick fixes.

Courses and self-help books give you the tools and the opportunity to make new choices but change takes effort and a choice to do different things, to get different results.

You cannot expect to do the same things and get different results.

Some change might require work and effort.

What is it worth to you?

Make a choice now. Take the opportunity to choose a new you!

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

Service is a choice

2010-01-12T16:00:00.000+02:00

What choice will you make? Service or (sullen) attitude?
Remember "The fish rots from the head down."

Act now think long term. Service and the effort you put in now will pay off in your personal and business brand over time. With ownership of your personal benefits from your positive actions you will gain greater satisfaction too.

Take steps demonstrate value those you interact with and you will develop good relationships.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

Are you the dog?

2010-01-11T16:41:00.001+02:00

In sales and customer service the "kick the dog" syndrome is an occupational hazard.

Most of the time you are the dog as the customer service person.

The "kick the dog" syndrome is where the boss shouts at the secretary, the secretary shouts at her husband, the husband shouts at the kid and the kid kicks the dog. What did the dog do?
Nothing!
Often the reason customers are in a bad mood is all the other "stuff" that has happened in the day.
If you can turn that mood around you have begun developing a good relationship.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

Congruent interperonal relationships

2010-01-05T10:57:00.000+02:00

Your Words and Actions should be congruent.
Do your deeds echo your words?

Consistency is essential in business for building healthy interpersonal relationships leading to trust.

Trust is a delicate part of a relationship, whether personal or business.

Back to basics, your word should be your bond.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

Humanity

2009-12-31T08:16:00.000+02:00

We are all human beings and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.
This is the fundamental attitude required in customer service.

The customer is not always right - in fact most of the time the customer does not know what they really want or need. Today, tomorrow and next year. They are, however the basis of our business. It is our job as customer service or sales to discover by listening and asking relevant questions what they need and to try fulfill their needs in a win-win way.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

Sense Memory - cont.

2009-12-10T14:14:00.000+02:00

Remember at time when you felt successful, happy, content. Use that as an inner compass to guide you to future success. Our brains don't know the difference between what we experience or what we imagine with any depth. Using clear emotional pictures allows us to motivate and drive us in a direction that works for us. Create clear emotional pictures using memories and clear pictures of what you want and how you want to feel.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

Sense Memory

2009-12-09T10:23:00.000+02:00

When visualizing your goals use your sense memory to enhance them.

Use smell, taste, touch, sounds and image to enhance your visualizations.

Our brains are holographic sensory organs. Our bodies respond more effectively and dynamically when we give our visualizations depth through sensory input.

When you smell fresh roasted coffee what does the smell evoke?
That holiday at the coast from when you were ten and they brought coffee to your room in the morning?
A memory of a wonderful coffee shop where you spent time relaxign with friends?

Adding sense memory to your dynamic goals and visualizations will enhance their power and motivate you.

Using the affirmation "I love eating healthy food because it makes me feel fantastic" while imagining with great detail the delicious healthy food you eat and how strong and vibrant it makes your body feel will amp up the visualization.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

Imagination - visualization

2009-12-07T09:23:00.000+02:00

Our imaginations have been enhanced over the last few decades by TV and movies. We are able to imagine floating in space, standing under a waterfall, etc.
Even though you may have not actually done it in your life before you can imagine the feel of the water or the cold weightlessness of space.
Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

Clear Communication

2009-12-04T17:54:00.000+02:00

Are you sure others understand what your message is when you communicate?

Is your message clear?

Do you assume they have the same emotional pictures around the words and concepts you use?

If you are looking for new business are you clear about what you mean by this term?

New business could be R1 000, R100 000, or more. It could be a once off deal or a business relationship that earns you substantially more over time.

Be specific and clear when you set your goals. Ensure you can clearly explain what you mean by the terms you use and the pictures you create. Also be aware of the emotion attached to them. Fear, excitement or enjoyment. Then, ensure you write them down Clearly!

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

Goal setting - obituary

2009-11-29T11:25:00.000+02:00

Write your own obituary as if you'd died today. What would it say?

What would you like it to say? If you died in ten/twenty years what would you want it to say?

How close are you to this person?
What steps would you need to take in order top become this person?

Turn the future obituary into a goal list. Make it specific, actionable and set a time frame.
what do you need to do and learn in order to become this person?

If you continue to do the same things you have always done ... how do you think your future will turn out? Make a choice to do something from your list today. Even a small step forward makes a difference.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

Emotional Pictures - goal setting

2009-11-26T09:35:00.000+02:00

When you set goals ensure you are specific and include the emotions you desire to feel when you have achieved your goals. Emotional goals are those which have a clear picture of what you want and a vibrant feeling attached.

Many people have wishy washy goals or negative goals. When asked what you want do you start off with "I don't want something like my old..."
Or maybe worse a wishy washy goal "I want something 'nice' ..."
A miss world answer does not help...

Be specific "I want a job that I am excited to go to, that stretches me, that develops my talents and utilizes my strengths. I want to feel excited, enjoy my day and feel like I make a valuable contribution."

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

steps to freedom 4

2009-11-19T12:28:00.005+02:00

Step: Take a step forward into your new choice. Start shifting your life - make new choices, decisions, have new thoughts, feeling, attitudes and beliefs - your reality will change. Create new strong emotional pictures. Change happens in an instant - the choice to change is in this moment - but the results of those changes may take a while to show up.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

steps to freedom 4

2009-11-19T12:28:00.003+02:00

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

steps to freedom 3

2009-11-17T10:06:00.000+02:00

Release: Release yourself through forgiveness - of self and others- it will set you free. Acknowledge you are human and have made mistakes.

We are all human and make mistakes. The important thing is to ensure we let go of the mistakes and move on. Understand why you held onto beliefs and attitudes that did not work for you, forgive yourself and move on.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

steps to freedom 2

2009-11-16T10:21:00.000+02:00

Awareness: Becoming aware of the patterns and where you are.

look at the habitual behaviour and where you are in your life.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

Steps to freedom 1

2009-11-13T11:03:00.000+02:00

Ownership: Owning that you are the one with the power, you set it up or allowed it and you can change it or keep it. The choice is yours.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

mind shadows and metal tape loops

2009-11-08T13:01:00.000+02:00

Mind shadows

The ideas and perspectives in our heads that, while unexamined, overshadow our confidence and leave us feeling nervous and anxious. An idea or repeated thought about yourself that is so much larger while in your head – like a scary shadow from your hand on the wall.

Mental tape loops

Those ideas that go round and round in our minds. The things we habitually say to ourselves without examination. We are often not kind to ourselves. We internalise our negative feelings and repeat the poor images we hold. These tape loops run 24/7. “I am not good enough” “I am fooling myself”

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functionsand schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

mental gymnastics - association

2009-11-05T08:53:00.000+02:00

Association – attaching weight meaning to a tone, gesture or action. Can work against you or for you…

I would suggest that no matter what anyone says take it as a compliment. This is a way to begin to counter the ravages of your bad habits. Use your imagination. Have fun. If someone insults you instead of taking it as an insult try twisting it as a weird compliment. It has two affects, it helps you learn to use your imagination in a positive direction rather than belittling yourself and it also annoys the person trying to insult you, leaving them frustrated.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functionsand schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

Ownership - motivation

2009-11-03T10:14:00.002+02:00

Imagine you became a doctor who discovered a cure for some debilitating disease. If you did it because you thought you’d impress your parents, a significant other or any other reason that was not about you - your motivation/ambition is negative. Even with all the wonderful work that you do there would be an emotional hole you could not fill. In fact, part of you may resent what you do (or the other people) as it is for them. The day you own that you enjoy doing what you do, that it you are primarily doing it because you get something out of it the very same actions will no longer cause resentment and you will feel the satisfaction and joy of a job well done.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functionsand schools. He is a Communication trainer, Motivational speakerand Self-esteem trainer

Ownership

2009-11-02T10:26:00.000+02:00

Any ambition/motivation that is not your own is negative.

If you are not doing it for yourself (honestly owning what you get out of it) then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. No matter how noble or selfless it may seem. What you do will not fulfil you but rather will leave you empty and hollow. If you can own what you get out of that very same activity, acknowledge that you get something out of it, then the same activity which before left you feeling hollow or empty will now give you a greater sense of accomplishment.

Mother Theresa was a very self-ish woman. She owned her motivation, she knew why she did what she did, not for anyone else. She did it for the joy it brought her. The delight and spark in a child's eye. She did it for her Self. What she got out of it. A positive motivation and payoff.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools.
Communication trainer, Motivational speaker, Self-esteem trainer

Mental gymnastics

2009-11-01T09:41:00.001+02:00

Association – attaching weight meaning to a tone, gesture or action. Can work against you or for you…

Mental gymnastics is the way we twist things to work for or against us.

No matter what anyone says take it as a compliment. This is a way to begin to counter the ravages of your bad habits of taking everything personally and thinking the worst. Use your imagination. Have fun. If someone insults you instead of taking it as an insult try twisting it as a weird compliment. It has two affects, it helps you learn to use your imagination in a positive direction rather than belittling yourself and it also annoys the person trying to insult you, leaving them frustrated.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools.
Communication trainer, Motivational speaker, Self-esteem trainer

From awareness, to choice, to change

2009-10-31T15:50:00.010+02:00

Our beliefs and attitudes, thoughts and feeling, choices and decisions that we hold create the emotional pictures that drives and shapes us. By becoming aware of these we can keep those that work for us or change and release those that don’t. When changing anything and releasing it we need to replace it with something else; nature hates a vacuum. So when you release an emotional picture you need to replace it with a new emotional picture that works for you.

Richard Riche does motivational key note addresses for corporate functions and schools.
Communication trainer, Motivational speaker, Self-esteem trainer

Be patient and kind to yourself

2009-10-30T08:41:00.004+02:00

We have held the old pictures for years it may take a little bit of practice and time to change them. It may feel a little like you are just pretending at first, but you are beginning to change the feeling engine that drives you. Use your memories and imagination, remembering times when you have succeeded and felt good about yourself. Apply these feelings in other areas of your life. This is not a substitute for doing the work, learning new information but it will allow you to learn easier and recall it more efficiently.

Richard Riche is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

Changing the past

2009-10-29T09:08:00.000+02:00

Our past is ultimately a collection of emotional pictures we hold. Our perspective of things changes based on the meaning and emotional weight we give these events. If you can change the meaning of an event you can change the emotional picture.

When your mother shouted at you it might not have been because you were a useless child but because she’d had a bad day. Holding an emotional picture of yourself as defective means you take everything that happens as your fault. It is not just a case of looking differently at the same world but experiencing it differently and being different. Remember - your brain and body respond directly to the emotional pictures you hold. If you hold the emotional picture of yourself as confident and happy you will begin to experience this. The key is honesty - not wishful thinking. Take it day by day.

Richard is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

non-verbal communication

2009-10-26T11:03:00.002+02:00

Imagine the difference in non-verbal communication (remembering that more than 70% of communication is non verbal) of two sales people who enter the same office to sell the same item. The first has an honest positive self-image and believes in their product, the second has a secret negative or poor self-image and doesn’t think anybody would buy something from them anyway. Which do you think would make a sale; assuming that the product is the same and even the sales pitch is the same?

What is your honest self-image?

Richard is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

Emotional Goal collage

2009-10-25T17:38:00.001+02:00

Can you remember times when you were happy, confident and successful?

These times can be used to create a collage of positive images that will change your chemistry and body response when you remember them with dynamism. Dynamic visualisation involves using as many senses as possible. How did you feel, what sounds were there, what was the temperature, the light etc? Imagine you were actually there experiencing that success again. Use sensory memory to add depth and realness to the emotional Goal.

Richard is a Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

Your brain thinks in pictures

2009-10-24T11:07:00.001+02:00

Your body and brain make no distinction between what you remember, what you imagine or what is actually happening. As you imagine the person being all these negative things your body begins to physically and chemically react to the situation as if it were actually happening. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more potent the emotional attachment/weight you link to the picture the stronger the physical and chemical reaction. The harder you try not thinking of these disastrous ideas and images the stronger they become. Trying not to think of that Red Ball only makes the image stronger. Instead focus on what you want – focus on thinking of a Green Ball.

Richard Riche is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

Outside validation

2009-10-23T11:19:00.001+02:00

Outside validation is a diminishing return. The warm glow does not last.
At first it is great to have someone validate you, "WOW, you're great." but if there is no real self-esteem (honest knowledge, feeling and nurturing of yourself) then the outside validation will end up making you feel worse. It will also take more outside validation, more often, to give you the same initial warm glow.

It is important to develop a real foundation of self-esteem. When you have this the outside validation matches the inner knowing and is easier to accept.

Richard Riche is a Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

Righteous anger

2009-10-22T10:27:00.002+02:00

Righteous anger is when you vent your frustration and anger to everyone and anyone BUT the person who can do something about it.

For example ... If you are annoyed with service at a restaurant .. who do you complain to? Your friends,
family, the parking guard? If you are complaining to anyone but the waiter, manager or someone at the
restaurant who can do something then you are using your anger to use it to manipulate people or make
yourself feel powerful. This is a cheap trick which ends badly. Learn to express yourself appropriately and in a healthy way that does not sabotage your relationships.

processing - healthy expression
Richard Riche is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

clear communication

2009-10-20T09:54:00.005+02:00

Try use sentences where the tone, picture created by the words and words all align with one clear meaning.

DON’T think of a RED BALL.

It is almost impossible command as you see the RED BALL as soon as it is mentioned.

Think of a GREEN BALL.

This is far easier and produces a clear message of what you want.

Richard Riche is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

world view

2009-10-19T09:19:00.003+02:00

Different ways of viewing the world make a big difference. If you see yourself one way you view the world in a corresponding manner. There is an old saying, “If you see yourself as a hammer, you’ll see the world as nails.” Based on your views (emotional pictures) of yourself and the world you will act and react accordingly.

Richard Riche is a Self-Esteem trainer and Motivational speaker
http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za

Thoughts and feelings

2009-10-15T10:40:00.002+02:00

Ensure the label matches the content

Are your thoughts and emotions on the same page? Are they in alignment?

What we feel and what we think should be in alignment. If they are saying different things it will cause stress and anxiety. The emotional content drives us. What we honestly believe we are worth and how we honestly feel. If we think or like to think we are ok but emotionally are a mess it is the mess that leaks through and is portrayed in our actions and interactions. Processing helps clear out the junk and enables us to direct us towards emotional substance that works for us.

Richard Riche is a Self-Esteem trainer and Motivational speaker
http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za

Crab-in-the-bucket syndrome

2009-10-14T16:29:00.004+02:00

Support is an amazing thing when you have it but similarly lack of support or people who are bent on keeping you where you are can cripple you. It is called the Crab in the Bucket syndrome. If you were to go with a bucket to the beach to catch crabs you will need a lid for the first two you catch, as they will try climbing out. Once you catch your third one, however, you will not need a lid at all. Strange as it may seem once there are three or more the others will try pull it back if one tries to climb out. This dynamic can be seen in our relationships quite clearly. Some relationships are very supportive of our desire to change while others would rather we stay as we are rather than shake things up. The fear of those holding you back is often that if you can change then so could they.

Richard Riche is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer
For more information about building a Dynamic foundation of Self-Esteem please go to http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za/

Change

2009-10-13T11:44:00.001+02:00

We can’t just break habits; we need to replace them with new behaviour patterns.

Focus on what you want in its place rather than what you don’t. Recognise you are the only one who can change the behaviour. Changing is something that happens now - in the moment - and the effects are noticed after time. It always begins with a choice in the moment. Nobody can change you. You can only change yourself. Others can inspire you to change but can’t make the choice for you. Of course they could manipulate or threaten you to make you change but even then the choice to capitulate is still yours.

Richard Riche is a Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer
http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za

Clear communication

2009-10-12T10:09:00.002+02:00

We need to develop the ability to communicate efficiently with those we interact with regarding our thoughts and feelings. Good communication saves a lot of energy and time and makes things run smoother. You will need to pay attention to your audience and whether they are getting what you are communicating.

Communication of ideas or emotions is far more than just the words you use. Non-verbal communication is just as important. Body language, eye contact, tone and delivery have substantial impact on the recipient of the message.

Richard Riche is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

Your view of the world

2009-10-09T09:47:00.001+02:00

Different ways of viewing the world make a big difference. If you honestly see yourself one way you view the world in a corresponding manner. There is an old saying, “If you see yourself as a hammer, you’ll see the world as nails.” Based on your views (emotional pictures) of yourself and the world you will act and react accordingly.

Richard Riche is a Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer
http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za/self-esteem.aspx

Creating better self-esteem 6

2009-10-08T09:56:00.002+02:00

Surround yourself with more positive supportive people who will accept and encourage you rather than negative people who prefer you to stay as you are or fail. Remember the negative influence of the crab in the bucket syndrome. crab-in-the-bucket

Richard Riche is a Self-Esteem trainer and Motivational speaker
http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za

creating better self-esteem 5

2009-10-07T10:47:00.003+02:00

Look for the beauty in life. Become aware of the amazing potential and spirit of people. Think of some of the choices people make that inspire and amaze us. Human beings have an amazing ability to love and give without selfish agendas. Think how people have selflessly given of themselves in times of dire need. Natural disasters such as earthquakes and hurricanes as during times of war tragic and destructive as they are can spur people to release a more humane and caring side. Be aware people are not just selfish and cruel but we have the potential to be amazing as well. Be aware that these people also gain a great deal through their “selfless” actions. Own the amazing feelings you get when you act in a loving and generous way toward others. Our positive expectation of the beauty and spirit of others encourages this type of behaviour.

Richard Riche is a Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za/self-esteem.aspx

Creating better self esteem 4

2009-10-06T08:13:00.002+02:00

Create new positive Emotional Pictures. Imagine how you would feel if these statements were already true: - “I am unique and valuable person”, “I am enough” or “I like and appreciate who I am”. Remember to feel the emotions that fit the words and picture. Act emotionally as if you have already achieved the result you desire. It is not about convincing others but about honestly feeling it for you. At regular intervals read your gratitude/ self-awareness journal and remind yourself of your value and the positive aspects of your life.

by Richard Riche Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

For more information about building a Dynamic foundation of Self-Esteem please go to

http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za/

Creating better self esteem 3

2009-10-05T10:17:00.007+02:00

Accept praise and compliments. A simple thank you is a good choice rather than discounting it or saying it was nothing. The higher your self-esteem the easier it is to honestly accept a compliment or praise. This is because you can appreciate what they see and are complimenting you on.

by Richard Riche Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

For more information about building a Dynamic foundation of Self-Esteem please go to

http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za

Creating better self esteem 2

2009-10-03T11:12:00.004+02:00

Be aware of the words and emotional pictures you hold and ideas you repeat about yourself. Depreciating yourself and putting yourself down only ads to the weight of your negative emotional pictures and ends up working against you. The self-depreciation becomes the pictures your body and brain react to physically and chemically on a day-to-day basis. They are the same pictures other people react to.

by Richard Riche Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

For more information about building a Dynamic foundation of Self-Esteem please go to

www.oneclearmessage.com

Creating better self esteem 1

2009-10-02T09:06:00.004+02:00

Be kind to yourself. Appreciate that no matter how wonderful or horrible you see yourself there is always someone better or worse than you. So don’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are a unique individual with positive and negative points. Strive to augment your positive points and reduce those parts of yourself that do not enrich your life. Strive to create images and goals that work for you rather than against you.
Richard Riche is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

parents teaching self-esteem

2009-10-01T09:29:00.002+02:00

Regarding self-esteem, it is a parent’s job to help build the self-esteem in their children. They do this through their actions and how they treat/value themselves as well as through the information they share with them trough the words they use. The emotional pictures parents hold are the blue print children copy as well as the actions they take. If a parent has low self-esteem this is communicated to their children and they learn this as acceptable behaviour.

In fact if a parent teaches a child to honestly love, value and appreciate themselves they have succeeded as a parent, whether the child likes them or not. However, if a parent does not teach decent self-esteem through their help and actions if the child loves them they have failed as a parent. Children automatically love their parents; they may however not like them as they grow up. Our job as parents is not a popularity contest getting them to like us or love us but to help them build a good basis of self-worth and self-esteem.

by Richard Riche Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer

http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za/schools.aspx

Self-esteem

2009-09-30T10:21:00.001+02:00

Self-esteem is the honest value and love you hold for yourself. Not to be confused with outside validation that is the value or love others hold for you – or how you think others see you. Self-esteem is vital! Outside validation is a great thing if it confirms your own esteem, not if you mistakenly make it the basis for your feelings about yourself. Someone who believes in you and expects great things of you is fantastic and can boost you but unless you own this as a new attitude and self-opinion it will fall away leaving you feeling less than you did before. Self-Esteem is earned by you from your actions and through ownership of your own value.

by Richard Riche Self-Esteem trainer and Motivational speaker

For more information about building a Dynamic foundation of Self-Esteem please go to

www.emotionalpictures.co.za

or
www.youtube.com/user/ricriche

Ownership

2009-09-29T10:26:00.002+02:00

Any ambition/motivation that is not your own is negative.

If you are not doing it for yourself (honestly owning what you get out of it) then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. No matter how noble or selfless it may seem. What you do will not fulfil you but rather will leave you empty and hollow. If you can own what you get out of that very same activity, acknowledge that you get something out of it, then the same activity which before left you feeling hollow or empty will now give you a greater sense of accomplishment. Negative motivation may not only leave you feeling hollow and quite empty but may necessitate you trying to fill the void with behaviour that takes you further away from who you honestly want to be. You can change a negative motivation to one that is more positive. You can own what you get out of it. Even though you began the activity to satisfy someone other than yourself as you realise you really enjoy it or that you get something out of it you value, then you can change your ambition to positive

Richard Riche is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer www.emotionalpictures.co.za

Changing the meaning of past emotional pictures

2009-09-28T08:38:00.006+02:00

We spend so much time reacting to our past, our limitations and the pictures we hold of what life is really about. Our past is ultimately a collection of emotional pictures we hold. Our perspective of things changes based on the meaning and emotional weight we give events. If you can change the meaning of an event you can change the emotional picture. When your mother shouted at you it might not have been because you were a useless child but because she’d had a bad day. Holding an emotional picture of yourself as defective means you take everything that happens as your fault. It is not just a case of looking differently at the same world but experiencing it differently and being different. Remember - your brain and body respond directly to the emotional pictures you hold. If you hold the emotional picture of yourself as confident and happy you will begin to experience this. The key is honesty - not wishful thinking. Take it day by day. We have held the old pictures for years it may take a little bit of practice and time to change them. It may feel a little like you are just pretending at first, but you are beginning to change the feeling engine that drives you. Use your memories and imagination, remembering times when you have succeeded and felt good about yourself. Apply these feelings in other areas of your life. This is not a substitute for doing the work, learning new information but it will allow you to learn easier and recall it more efficiently.

Richard Riche is a Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer
www.emotionalpictures.co.za

Public speaking - emotional pictures

2009-09-26T08:51:00.003+02:00

Let‘s look at the example of public speaking. For most people this is a nerve wracking experience. The first time we have to stand up in front of a group of people and talk we become terrified. Think about the pictures these nervous speakers are imagining… the pictures are of failing, being terrified, what can go wrong – their bodies react physically and chemically to these pictures and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. If we have done quite a lot of public speaking before we have a certain level of confidence and the pictures we hold are more confident. Some people never get over their fear of public speaking as they constantly imagine the worst.

How different you would feel if you held a picture of yourself having successfully achieved what you are setting out to do? Imagine sitting down after your talk with that sense of accomplishment and satisfaction of a job well done. If your body and mind are going to physically and chemically act on the pictures we hold let’s give the ones that work for us. When watching we pick up whether someone is confident or terrified. Part of this confidence is the pictures they are holding. You can see and feel this confidence. In speaking being prepared by knowing your topic is essential but so is being prepared emotionally, holding an emotional goal of where you want to be. This applies to all areas of your life. As we prepare ourselves emotionally we are far more elegantly able to cope with the areas that make us nervous.

Richard Riche is a Self-Esteem trainer and Motivational speaker
http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za

Emotional Pictures

2009-09-24T08:37:00.002+02:00

Our emotional pictures are the honest feelings we hold about ourselves. Consistency is essential in clear communication. If someone says “I am happy to be here” but their face, body language or tone gives a different impression, misery for example, we do not believe them. Similarly imagine how you’d feel if someone said, “I really love you!” but looked distractedly at the people walking past as they said in a bored sounding tone. It may have been just what you wanted to hear but it was a mixed message leaving you feeling a little uncomfortable. Now imagine the same message “I really love you!” and they look directly into your eyes, smiling and touching your hand their voice a little husky with emotion. That gives a clear message that has a whole different impact that the first mixed message with the bored tone.

In excess of 70% of communication is non-verbal. How you say it, the tone, inflection, attitude and body language are more important than the words. These all convey emotion and subtle meaning adding layers to the pictures. These layers also convey what we think of ourselves and other people too. A person with emotional pictures of themselves as confident and happy will convey this to others in the way they walk, talk, act towards themselves and how interact with others. No matter how calm and confident, or stressed and scared, they may appear to be on the surface their honest emotional pictures do come through. It doesn’t matter what you think would your pictures should be, it matters what they actually are, how you honestly feel about yourself. There is a balance and sense of emotional continuity that happens when someone’s thoughts, words and deeds are consistent. An emotionally honest person is one whose actions and words are consistent with the inner emotional pictures. Desperation is extremely unattractive. Most people would respond better to the more confident person. Confidence is far more attractive.

Richard Riche is a Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer
http://www.emotionalpictures.co.za

Emotional Goal Setting

2009-09-23T08:58:00.002+02:00

Emotional goal setting – How to make your emotional goals your primary goals - how you want to feel and what you expect to feel from achieving your tangible goals. Most people set tangible goals to the detriment of what they are really looking for - The emotional goals.

Take for example a young man buying an expensive car. Why does he buy it? If he buys the car because he thinks it will make him feel a certain way then he will eventually be disappointed. Things do not change the way we feel on a foundation level. If the purchase of the expansive car was the tangible goal then the feeling he was really aiming for was the emotional goal. His attention and energy was focussed on the wrong goal. Tangible goals are important but what we are looking for is generally the emotional goal. So we are disappointed when the tangible goal does not provide the achievement of the emotional goal. If he had set a goal of feeling success as his primary goal, rather than as a secondary goal, he would have been satisfied when he achieved that. Tangible goals are important but your emotional goals should be the primary goals.

A different example is in the dating arena. What are you looking for? Someone tall, good-looking, wealthy or who drives a fancy car?

Unfortunately if that is your primary goal you may miss out on the goal you ultimately look for – that emotional connection, comfort and support which is essential in an intimate loving relationship. If you get all the tangible things you asked for does this make you feel satisfied? Are you happy?

If instead you create a list of what you want in a relationship from an emotional point of view, that level of comfort, connection, communication and the real delight of the presence of the one you love and you get that - are you happy? Do you feel satisfied?

So how do you set your emotional goals?

Take a look at the tangibles you desire in your life and look at what you think you’ll get emotionally from them. When setting your emotional goals how you want to feel is far more important than what you want to happen. Have you ever looked back and realised that you are glad that a specific event you wanted to happen did not in fact happen as certain information came to light that made you realise that the tangible goal was not in fact a great idea or was set far too low?

If you, however, set an emotional goal of being happy, experiencing joy or satisfaction no matter how it looks or the tangible achievement if you achieve that goal of satisfaction you feel great and a success.

If you set a tangible goal of completing a few projects but the day goes a bit off track and you do not complete those specific projects though you may have completed many other tasks that the day threw at you will you feel satisfied and successful? Take instead an emotional goal of getting into bed at night and feeling the joy of a fantastic day, one that stretched you and was thoroughly enjoyable and satisfying. No matter what the day throws at you if you have a day with all green traffic lights and achieve that ownership of each achievement you will feel satisfied and successful.

This does not mean you should not set specific achievable tangible goals. In fact those are important. What it does mean is you should add your emotional goals for the day as your primary goals. Have the tangible goals as the secondary goals for the day.

Richard Riche is a Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer at www.emotionalpictures.co.za

One clear message

2009-09-22T22:51:00.004+02:00

one clear message

It is important that when we communicate with ourselves, or others, we send one clear message. If someone speaks to you and their tone and body language are sending a different message to the one painted by your words you are sending a mixed message. Your brain thinks in pictures. Take for example the phrase “Don’t slam the door” it tells you not to do something but describes a vivid image of exactly what you are asked not to do – this mixed message often causes anxiety.

The phrase “Please close the door gently”, however, sends one clear message. Each phrase means essentially the same - in language. The pictures the words create, however, are vastly different.

Most people react primarily to pictures rather than the words. In the first example above most people would slam the door rather than close it gently as that was the image suggested. In fact the first message of “don’t slam the door” is poor communication as it is a mixed message. For communication to be most affective it should have one clear message. We communicate with our words, the pictures they create, our body language, our tone and intent. The above massage we understand intellectually but we react to the image the words create. Both “Don’t slam the door” and “Do slam the door” create the same picture in our minds though we understand intellectually there is a different meaning.

Try use sentences where the tone, picture created by the words and words all align with one clear meaning.

DON’T think of a RED BALL. It is almost impossible command as you see the RED BALL as soon as it is mentioned.

Think of a GREEN BALL. This is far easier and produces a clear message of what you want.

Remember your brain can’t really process the words don’t, can’t, shouldn’t, mustn’t, etc as effectively as it can a clearer message. Your brain and body react most powerfully to the pictures they imagine when you speak or someone else does.

When you say, “I mustn’t eat that cake as I am getting fat.” Your brain envisages images, creates pictures of you eating the cake and you getting fat. The statement “I want to eat healthy food as I am enjoying getting fitter and healthier.”

Richard Riche is a Communication trainer, Motivational speaker and Self-esteem trainer at www.emotionalpictures.co.za